Decisions...

Working five days a week and getting home around dinnertime leaves little time to do things with my daughter during the week. This leads to very busy weekends, sometimes too busy. It comes down to decisions.

At first I started doing things to make sure everyone else was happy. I had to go see this person, and go to that event, all because everyone wanted to see my daughter. But now that she is almost 2 years old, I've decided it's time to do what we need to and want to do – what will make us happy. Unfortunately, this has on occasion led to people being disappointed and upset, but that is the price to pay for our own happiness and sanity. 

It's a very hard lesson new moms have to learn: you can't please everyone and if you try to, well you will just exhaust yourself!

I remember when my daughter was first born and how stressful it was to try and make everyone else happy. The guilt trips, the sad faces, the multiple phone calls from friends and family – they all meant well, and I'm sure they had no idea we were being pulled in seven different directions. Instead of speaking up we just tried to do everything!

I am glad those days are behind me and I have now found what I call my "mommy voice." I speak up for what is best for my daughter and for our family, even if that means someone might get upset. Of course I try to be polite and explain why we are refusing an offer to do something, but sometimes you just can’t please everyone.

Last night I made one of my “mommy decisions.” We headed as a family to the Bellmore Fire Department’s Lady’s Auxiliary bingo night! What a great family outing.

Although my little angel was more interested in running around and playing than actually doing bingo, we still had fun supporting the local fire department and I even won a haircut (which I am totally psyched about since getting my haircut has been one of those decisions I’ve put on the back burner so I could spend more time with my daughter). But no excuses anymore! I can’t wait to sit in that chair and get a new haircut.

I’m so glad we had a special family “date” night. It’s not often just the three of us get to go out and do fun things together and I really treasure the times that we do.

So to all those new mommies out there, it’s okay to say "no" to events and visits. It’s okay to do things just for you and your new little family, even if it means people will get upset. If they are your true friends they will understand in the long run and your extended family will also come to understand that sometimes you just can’t do it all.

But word to the wise, do try to rotate whom you see and what you do as best you can. Don’t be afraid to let your “Mommy Voice” be heard loud and clear!